Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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