No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
