I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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