I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
