Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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