6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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