24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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