Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
