Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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