The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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