shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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