ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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