Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
