Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
As shirtless as possible
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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