Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize