ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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