Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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