i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
