Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes