When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
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some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night