It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.