handjob tips. give me some.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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