just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I came so hard my ears popped.
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