Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
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