i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
vagina is talking i cant
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
