This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
