Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
