yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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