so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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