i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
