I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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