There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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