I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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