I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
