Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
