do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
