You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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