I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
