my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
