i was born a porn star she said
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
