we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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