I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So vagazzling was a success
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
