Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
