Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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