i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
