Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Vodka?
Forever.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize