Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Panties = found
Randomize
