ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my being single is dangerous.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
