She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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