last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
