and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
