So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
