I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
