Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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