I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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