So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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