I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
