yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sorry about my life...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
