you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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