i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
