brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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